Kiss

‘Have you ever kissed a boy?’
Shay asks.

He isn’t making fun of me
or criticising
or pressurising.

He sees
no problem
when I tell him
that I’ve haven’t
kissed
anybody
yet.

‘Oh, if I could
kiss
you,
Daisy,
your first kiss
would have
starlight
in it.’

‘It would glimmer

on your lips

and feel like the heat of the sun

on your skin

on a summer’s day.’

‘It would burst with kindness

in your mouth

and have a tiny

tasty

dash

of dark voodoo

to spice it.’

Worried

‘Daisy,
as your friend,’
writes Erin
formally
as though she is
no longer
my friend.
‘I have to say
that I am
worried
about you.

1. You don’t know him.
   (that’s what she thinks)
2. You have forgotten
   about the
   real world.
   (how would a girl who has never been in love understand just how gut-wrenchingly ‘real’ this is?)
3. You haven’t even met him!’
   (yet…)

Invisible Ink

I’m not going to tell you,
Erin,
my friend,
the things
on my mind.
I’m not going to tell you
that the
poison
of jealousy
is polluting
your thoughts and
choking
our friendship.

I’m not going to tell you
that my
friend
should be
happy
that I am
happy.
I’m not going to tell to you
that I feel I have
overtaken
you.
That I am on a road
that is not on
your map
yet.
And, I’m definitely not going tell you
like Maeve would
that you should
go
and play with your
dolls.

Rapunzel

I am drying
my hair.
Shay says
he’d like to
comb it
gently
with his fingers.
He’d like to
touch it
smell it
brush it.
I send him a picture.
My head
upside down
my wet hair
tousled.
Wild.
I’m getting better
every day
at the
selfies.

A star-speckled sky

I can’t
describe
this feeling.
But my mind
seeks for the right words
unrelentingly
unendingly.
Heart-hopping
hard-to-breathe
I-am-flying
waves-crashing
heart-melted
I’ve-lost-the-plot
firecrackers
obsession
tsunami…
It’s like
a star-speckled sky
inside my tummy.

So what?

At school,
Erin has a new gang.
New friends.
I sit on my own.
But I don’t care.
Here sits Daisy
alone and maybe
lost and hazy,
completely phone-crazy.
So what?

The vacuum

I’m texting him
as usual
telling him
every minute detail
of my day.
This way
it’s like
we’re
together.
But something is wrong.
He isn’t
answering.
Silence so
quiet
that it
screams.
A cavernous void.

A vacuum
pulling me inside
a vortex
of fear.
Shay,
Where are you?
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE ARE YOU?

Pyjamas

‘I’m sorry, darling.
My battery died,
that’s all.’
That’s all?
I tell him about the
vacuum.
About the vortex.
‘I know, my love,’
he says.
‘I felt it too.
But I’m here now
and everything is OK.
Are you in your pyjamas,
Daisy?’
I sent him a pic.
White pyjamas
with pink hearts.

I tie a knot at the back
to tighten them.
So he can see
my curves.

Lover boy

‘Ooohh – don’t tell me that
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
have fallen out,’
says Maeve
in a
saccharine
voice.
The maths classroom is
too hot,
stuffy.
I am sitting
alone.
‘Daisy’s smitten with
Lover Boy,’
Erin says,
like she doesn’t care
but her green eyes look
hurt
for a second
before she turns back
to her
new friends.

Ooohh,’ says Maeve again
turning her whole body
to look me
up and down
sizing me up
from head to toe.
‘Well well well.
Daisy’s in love.’

Daisy’s in love

It’s a fact.
Daisy’s in love.
Daisy is drenched,
drowned
in the bursting
in the purring
in the shimmering
and in the silken rustling
of love.

The glass slipper

The whole day
I can’t
shake
Erin’s wounded eyes
from my mind.
Did I hurt her?
If the
glass slipper
was on the other foot
how would I feel?
Erin dancing happily
with the prince
and me
left
by myself?

Americano

‘Hey, Erin,’ I say
on the phone.
‘I’m sorry
about everything.
How about we go
for a coffee
tomorrow afternoon?’
‘OK,’ she says
in a tiny little voice.
‘There will be a
total ban
on talking
about Shay.
I promise.’
She sends me a
smiling emoji.
‘Caffè Nero at 2 then?’
We have a date.

Another date

‘That has me
thinking,’
says Shay when I tell him.
‘When are
we
you and me
Daisy and Shay
going
out on a
  date?
I can’t
 wait
any longer.
I want to feel
your hand
in my hand.
More than
anything
on earth.’

Shivers of excitement
dart through
my body.
‘Are you free
after school
Friday?
A week from today?’
he says.
I send an emoji.
The face with
hearts for eyes.
‘Sure am.’
This is it.
‘Say 5 o’clock?
That gives us time to
change out of our
prison uniform
beforehand?
We can meet at that new café
in front of City Hall?’

I wonder if he knows
that I am
jumping
around my bedroom
like a
lunatic.
This is it.
I’m going to meet my
love.
Finally.

He Loves Me (Not)

Daisy has always been quiet – the kind of girl who fades into the background. So, when she meets a boy online who really sees her, she falls fast. He listens. He understands. He makes her feel special in a way no one at school ever has.

Soon, Daisy’s world shrinks to a glowing screen. Her mum worries. Her best friend Erin is pushed aside. But Daisy doesn’t notice – she’s in love. Then Daisy goes to meet him in real life. And she never comes back.

Left behind with guilt and unanswered questions, Erin tries to piece together the events that led to Daisy’s disappearance and is forced to confront the truth Daisy never saw. In a world where screens can lie and love can be faked; how can anyone know who to trust?

Máire Zepf

Máire Zepf has written over 16 books for children, from picture books to YA fiction. She has won the Children’s Books Ireland Children’s Book of the Year Award, 5 Literature Association of Ireland Children’s Book Awards and 2 international White Ravens among many others. Máire lives in Co. Down and she loves sea-swimming and crisps.